When I decided to leave my full time job in 2015, I made istikharah. By Allah’s grace, He showed me Surah Al-Qalam a few times. Qalam means pen. And this is one of the reasons why my enterprise/business/commerce is called Ungu Pen. [I wrote about this in detail in an article that was published in On Purpose].
I wrote my first book, The Truth Seekers @ Haji Lane within 3 months, a novella that I branded as a love story. If you have read it, you will know that it is not just a love story. Here are what some of my readers have said:
“It’s about finding oneself.”
“It’s about not judging a person.”
“It has good pointers for those who are in love and seeking for Allah’s guidance.”
“It’s about letting the world know that we (hijab-wearing girls) have aspirations too. We are not oppressed as some people think we are.”
“I felt calm after reading the book knowing that I should place my trust in Allah.”
“I love the halal romance and the wisdom in nurturing a marriage.”
“The novella encapsulates my hopes, my dreams and my journey to self-healing as I seek for His Guidance and Mercy.”
“It’s about understanding the mind of a madrasah-educated girl and the dilemmas facing true believers balancing faith and progress.”
“It promises suspense, surprise, love and a spiritual journey.”
“A page-turner.”
“I like the fact that ayaats and hadeeths are weaved into the story.”
Many have asked me why I wrote this book. My simple answer is that I had this story playing in my head for the longest time. I felt it was time to inscribe it on paper
Why the title The Truth Seekers?
My characters are good people and they are always striving to be better. They want to seek God’s love but often get side-tracked by worldly distractions and seeming pleasures. Some go slightly off the path but there would be others who would go totally off the road. As Muslims, what do we do? Are we quick to judge? Are we quick to label someone as deviant just because the person do not yet put on the hijab? Are we quick to assume one’s relationship with God just by one’s outer experience? Most times, I feel that we, as Muslims, have to check ourselves first.
Had I been a good role model of Islam?
Once, a born Muslim who left Islam had thrown me these questions:
Why is Islam so difficult to practice?
Why is Islam the religion of the sword?
My Muslim friends lied and stole.
As a Muslim, I realised I didn’t have all the answers to his questions. It was an eye-opening and stark reminder that perhaps Allah was not testing this born-Muslim-who-left-Islam but Allah was testing me, and He still does.
“Had I been a good role model of Islam?
I did initially ask Allah: “Why? Why do you veil someone’s heart to Islam? You have the power to change it and yet you choose this human to veil his heart from Islam. It doesn’t seem fair.” At the same time, I asked, why do we rejoice when someone renounce his religion and revert to Islam? The people of that religion who ‘lost’ their loved ones to Islam must have felt the same pain as I did. It’s fair that way then.
I read the Bible and I read the Quran. I didn’t complete reading everything but it was so obvious when a verse in the Bible jumped out at me that this human had got it all wrong but he didn’t see it. I read the Quran and yet I found little comfort in it. I was heartbroken knowing that He chooses whom He wills. If this is the case, our life is pretty much pre-destined and no amount of prayers nor efforts will help?
A slow lightbulb moment came when I read, “Be! And it shall be!” Another lightbulb moment came when I came to understand why humans were created. There is one thing that Allah gave us humans in which He did not give to his other creatures – Free Will. We, humans, have the Free Will to choose and decide. If we choose good, Allah s.w.t, being the All-Mercy and All-Wise will just have to say Be! And it shall Be! If we choose to derail from His path, despite being given the evidences, the knowledge, the means, Allah s.w.t, at any time can say, Be! And it shall Be!
I choose to believe the wisdom and the secrets of why Allah s.w.t, the All-Mercy, the All-Compassionate, the All-Wise made some Muslims and why some are not Muslims, and why He veiled some hearts from Islam, and unveiled some hearts to accept Islam.
The real test is not just for the born-Muslim-who-left-Islam but also for Muslims like me to strive to be better versions of myself and to strive to be closer to Allah, every day. For each day that I am closer to Him, He reveals His wisdom to me in small doses so that I could understand, absorb, comprehend what my limited mind could, and perhaps, share His message with others.
For that matter, Surah Al-Qalam is not about pen or writing. There’s a deeper meaning in it in which it didn’t quite unfold for me then. As I read and re-read the Surah many times over time, some verses are illuminating itself to me now. And this verse 68:7 is just one of them. The translation is as follows:
“Surely your Lord ˹alone˺ knows best who has strayed from His Way and who is ˹rightly˺ guided.”
May we all be guided by Him. May He unveiled hearts that have been veiled to Islam. Ameen! Alhamdullillah aalla kulli haal.
With much humility and love,
Maria
PS: On Purpose and The Truth Seekers @ Haji Lane are both available at Ungu Pen. The Truth Seekers @ Haji Lane can also be found at Popular Bookstores, Kinokuniya, MPH, Wardah Books, Salaam Media, Darul Arqam and The Richmond Station.
PSS: If you find this post of benefit to others, please share. Thank you!